Looking back at 2012

2012 was a year of great revelation to me. It showed me that i can easily find it in me to  run away from my responsibilities, into a world within myself.it showed me that when life gets tough, i am one of those who roll in a ball and wait for it to be over.

  It showed me that i have an amazing imagination. It showed me that i can write well.. It gave me the first laurel  in writing accomplishment .. i won second place in a short story writing competition. It showed me that being comfortable in my own skin is not that difficult.. that I dont have to apologize for being me.

 2012 showed me that my family is indeed very precious to me.  My littlest one joined the school tedium.. and although i was a bit too eager to start on her schooling, i was in no way prepared to the feeling when all my kids were in school.  I did not know how to divide my time, i did not know how to spend my (absolutely) free time,  I did not know how to manage three kids getting ready for school  in the morning or bedtime in the evening... and i found out that practice is the best teacher.

it showed me that  gaining weight is simply a matter of how much you eat. it showed me that if i suddenly stop exercising, i might gain a few kilos extra in the weeks following. it showed me how good I'd feel after a brisk walk around the block, when i have a friend to gupshup with.

2012 taught me that i have it in me to be blindly addicted to something. It cured me of the same addiction, by ways known only to God.. but after it was over, i know what it did to me, and my family... and i found out that my husband was not joking when he said his wedding vows. I appreciate him a lot more, i think i am finally grown up enough to appreciate his devotion.

I read a lot this year.. not only fiction, but nonfiction too.. and i see my little ones curled up in corners of the home, lost in their books, I am content.. and my only regret is not being able to provide them enough books to broaden their horizons.. sadly, the school library stocks mostly nancy drew and famous five and enid blyton.. and that is definitely not the genre of books i want my kids to read.I will do something to make it right.. I WILL!

towards the end of the year, I got introduced to podcasts and monetizing and blogging as a business.. i am intrigued, and a whole lot curious. I have decided to to a project 365 in the year 2013, because the number of photos in my house have been terribly reduced because I donot know how to operate the new DSLR.. and i am eager to learn.  I will be starting a new blog for the 365, hence this is adios..

thanks to all who left comments here, encouraged me, and used the patterns off this site..  check my pinterest on the sidebar, you will find a ton of free patterns and tutorials from across the internet.. Enjoy your life. carpe diem!

edited to add: just when I try to stop a blog, a new reason comes. hence I take back the adios :)

Arnav & Khushi's Love Story | Iss Pyar ko Kya Naam Doon

call me an idiot, but this is what i fell in love with. 
got hopelessly addicted to.
cannot drop it, even now. 
glad that it ended,  so i did not have to choose. 
yes, i am a dweeb, i can still point out the exact scenes and conversations and significant moments that this VM is made up of.
here is something I wrote as a eulogy

watched "the departed".
yes, i live under a rock, its been eons since the movie came out on tv.. but was captivated. the moves, reactions, countermoves, the thin slice of unreal connection so expertly woven.. and then wanted to hit something when the movie ended.. "seriously? i mean really? thats it? thats IT?? " "ugh why? why????? "

then i gave it a day to simmer. (i love the way leo acts) (i love matt damon, though he's not the chocolate boy anymore) (gosh that Jack Nicholson.. i'd marry a man like that!)

somehow, i'm glad i saw that movie..

and (here goes) this movie reminds me so much of IPK.

so special applause to the directors of IPK.. who melds, links and weaves all the threads.. the story, the acting, the editing, the screenplay, the sublime background music, the videography.. who gave us something worth watching.. something that had multiple layers of magic woven into something as simple as a hate-turned-love story.


for having the same pull as a movie.. for converting a movie person like me and hooking me onto a daily soap. for having something more with every rewatch.. for telling stories that unfolded through months.. always keeping me interested.. it was not only for the lead pair that i watched the story, though the lead pair is absolute eye candy in both looks and acting skill.. the story itself intrigued me.

me, who can rip through an M&B in one hour, was hooked to 8pm tv..
me, who never watched hindi dramas unless it was on youtube.. (flexitime access, finished story..)
me,who had no time between mommying and taxying and biwiying.. dropped everything and flabbergasted my family by plopping myself in front of the tv come 8 pm. my kids, who had never had a whiff of bollywood drama.. became pickled in arnav and khushi and hello hi bye bye.

my hubby, so used to the "take it or leave it" biwi, rolled his eyes for the first month. closed his eyes the second month.. started narrowing his eyes by the third( the swami drama had started by then)... his biwi had changed color. no amount of riffing or heckling seemed to work.. kiddos were singing rabba ve on the toilet... and trying out "swami" as an assault weapon. "whats happening in this house??!!"

thankfully, that mania has ended.
finally, God heard his prayers.
now no tv during the pm primetime. just like before.
peace in the house. just like before.
kids do homework. just like before.

thank you, 4lions, for dissing the show.
i did not know i owed you my sanity, until i regained it. 
thank you, barun sobti.
your quitting has indeed been a good thing.

snapshots on the web

Sometimes it is really hard to keep your privacy online. Well, not sometimes. Every time.  If I publish a picture, I assume that anyone trying to find it can and will find it. So I am a bit reluctant to "publish" any photo of mine that I don't want to float on the cesspool that is the interwebs.

I know that everyone does not think the same. they post pictures of everything from their cats to their  address without a care. I am not one of them. This is one of the reasons I purposely edit some of the pictures on this blog.

christmas 'gifts'

first, let me say, i grew up in an environment where gifts were unheard of. the only 'gifts' you got (all through the year) were the small packets of candy that one(!) uncle brought for us kids  when he visited.   that does not mean we were poor..  we were a wealthy family, and everything we needed.. even everything we kids wanted.. were simply bought as and when requested.. never a 'gift'. we got the best of everything.. but nothing was presented as a  'gift'.  no 'gifts' for birthdays, no 'gifts' for christmas. instead, we went to church, prayed and was thankful on our birthdays, mom baked a cake, we ate it together, that was it.. lots of love, no gifts. we celebrated Christmas with long visits to the ancestral home, meeting every family member, having a lot of fun(we were kids, no recollection of vacation planning or itinerary or leave scheduling)..

then, i got married.  here was a family  that was great on gifts. something special on your birthday, a new dress for christmas.  something gold on your anniversary.. a little trinket when you come back from an overseas trip...

and now, i realize how good you can feel when someone gives you a gift.  something they chose, thinking specifically of you, because you are special to them.  not something that  you asked for, not something generic for everyone..  I love the feeling. 

so, do not wait until the holidays to shop for gifts.  have a running list in your phone.. buy something which reminds you of someone.  yes, the holiday season is terrible for shopping.. because people are so stressed, living up to mental expectations... status- appearance- price range of the gifts.. what will the receiver think of the gift??

 my kids have already started expecting gifts for occasions. requesting them.. and now i am struggling to reinstate the status quo as in my dad's house. because expectations are a terrible thing. and though i have money to get whatever they want,  i think it is important that the children learn how to appreciate the concept of a  gift.

 this little comment made me realize what a big gift my parents gave me.. they raised me without the gimme syndrome. thanks for the post.